Anonymous asked: I took online depression tests and all said I have depression. I don't want anyone to know or seek external help because people will find out. But I wanna get better.. I've been trying for a very long time but it doesn't seem to be working :-(
Depression isn’t something you need to be ashamed of, I just want to let you know that. There are ways to get help, and it’s always confidential unless there is danger to you or someone else. I’m not sure what country you’re in, but here in Aus, we have ‘Headspace’ which is free, confidential help. Just something that I think is always worth looking at. If you still are not wanting to get external help, then things that can be helpful are firstly trying to determine if there is something environmental/external that is causing or contributing to your low mood. A death, a trauma, stress in some area (work, study, relationships) etc. If there is no trigger, then it can be harder.
Often when you’re depressed you will stop doing things you previously enjoyed and will isolate. Something that is hard but very helpful to do is to force yourself to do those things again, no matter how much effort it feels like. With depression, it’s usually easier to try and challenge behaviours before thoughts. You thoughts, emotions and behaviours all cycle together, and you can change your behaviours and thoughts, which in turn will help change your emotions.
How is your sleeping? Trying to get a regular sleep cycle can be effective too. Going to bed at the same time and getting out of bed at the same time (E.g. Go to bed at 10pm and get up at 7am). Sunlight and fresh air and exercise (even just going for a walk) all are proven to be helpful. As you probably know, exercise releases endorphins. Even small amounts of chocolate are meant to help.
I’ve always been told that the first step is just the everyday things. Make sure you are getting up, seeing people, keeping up hygiene and nutrition and hydration, going outdoors, etc. Structuring your days. I don’t know if you work or study, but outside of that, if you plan, “At 4pm I’m going to watch an episode of my favourite show… 6pm I’ll meet a friend for dinner” etc.
That’s probably the best advice I can give you. If you want to talk about anything, you can message me on here and I can reply privately, too.
asked: So I am really good friends with this guy at my school. But I act different around him since I started to grow feelings for him. And he's likes me too. How do I act normal?
Have you both acknowledged how you feel? Does he act different too?
You can’t just stop behaving one way but if you know what the things you’re doing differently are, maybe consciously recognising when you catch yourself doing them and then shaping your behaviour back to “normal”. You don’t need to act differently around him, he likes YOU for a reason :)
Help spread the word :)
advice and listening x
Anonymous asked: My gf was cheating on me so I broke up with her. She wants to get back together and I miss her so much but she hurt me so bad and I'm not sure what I'm going to do.
I’m sorry to hear that.
I think it would be good to do the classic “pros and cons” now. Of course you miss her, that’s natural. I guess it’s a trust issue now though. She disrespected and deceived you, and that is a huge indicator that she could, not necessarily would, do it again. How much do you trust her? And would the two of you first be willing to talk out what happened?
If you decide not to get back together, you deserve better, then it will take time to adjust to the loss of her and the relationship, but it will get better. Things alway, ALWAYS, get better.
Anonymous asked: I'm bulimic and I want to get better but I don't know where to start :(
It’s SO great that you want to get better.
Start with your GP. They can refer you to specialists and then options can be explored for what will work best for you.
I’m so proud of you. Don’t hesitate to message me privately if you want to talk.
Anonymous asked: I'm really scared of illogical things and it makes me so anxious all the time
Hmm without specifics this is the best I can tell you: Are they definitely illogical or are you downplaying them? Basically, is there a reason (does not matter if you or anyone else think it’s a silly reason) that you are scared of these things? If there is, then we can work with that.
If they truly are illogical, think about how many times these things have been present and haven’t harmed you, or how many times these things haven’t happened when you thought they will, or whatever, you’ll know how to apply that to your situation.
There’s techniques to use when you’re anxious too. Maybe try taking 3 deep breaths (then stop, breathing too much can lead to panic). Tell yourself that you are safe, seek out someone for support or a distraction, if necessary and helpful, leave a situation.
It’s all circumstantial. If you want to give me some specifics anonymously you can, or we can talk privately?
Anonymous asked: what did you do to look after yourself that was worth it? I'm glad xo
I went into pretty intense, continuous treatment for anorexia. And it has been so worth it.
I’m an advice blog that has just re-opened.
Message me and spread the word x